I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
