Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
