You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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