My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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