remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
