I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
