; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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