Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
