K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
