He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
