I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
