$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
