K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
