Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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