just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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