I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
