i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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