oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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