ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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