This is not my ceiling
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
