your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
