Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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