just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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