would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
