You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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