After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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