She's JV to your varsity
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
