I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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