PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
