I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
