This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
did you just send me my own nude
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