the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
