he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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