yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
