He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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