he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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