I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
