i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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