you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
All I want is dick and wine.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
