Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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