my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
