don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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