it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
