Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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