I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
