so let's talk penis.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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