I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
