I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
