Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
