The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
