Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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